nothing too special.

just an update, mostly. i'm back at le parentals. it's been good being back here. i'm glad that i have parents that will always take me in if needs be. some people don't have that, and it makes me sad for them. everyone needs somewhere to go. i can't imagine how stressed i would be if my parents wouldn't let me come back home.
i've been slowly gathering up all my things and getting all my business taken care of. it's a super tedious process, man. there's so many little things to do that it just takes up SO much time. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. i'm happy to be where i am right now. there's just so much to do!
it has FINALLY turned into summer, or something resembling it. about time. i'm getting so sick of walking around in jackets. it is JUNE, mother nature. anyway, this summer i'm going to take piano up again. (not that i ever really left, but i stopped taking lessons.) it should be good. i miss doing something that i'm really good at. i also have to get a car at some point during the summer, because i'm going to start taking classes at SLCC in the fall. i'm just starting over - clean slate. i'm pretty excited. i like feeling like i have some direction in life.
so i've been hanging out with some new people lately, and it's been really good. it's nice to hang out with people that don't know me and don't have preconceived ideas about me. i can deal with people talking about me, but i'd rather not (naturally). so it's been really  nice to just start over with new people, you know? i feel like i'm finally living life on my own terms, and doing what's best for me. my whole life has been about making others happy, or making others like me, or living up to others' expectations. i'm finally living for me, and i'm the happiest i've ever been. :)

xoxo.

ohhh my.

dear internet abyss:

my name, legally, is erin paige mcguire. but i now think of myself as erin paige lee. you see, i am getting divorced.

yeah, it sucks. yeah, it's a long process. yeah, it's emotionally draining. blah, blah, blah. i've heard it all. i'm happy with my decision. i love being happy again. :) it's taken a long time to get to this point, and i'm not going to take it for granted.

on another note, my cat scratched me across the face today. i am SO pissed. it's really fantastic to be a model and have three long scratches on your cheek. ugh. tonight was seriously horrible. the world was out to get me - everything that could go wrong did. but oh well, i guess. tomorrow's another day.

a couple days ago i had an impromptu shoot at a park by my house. here are a couple of the pictures i've received.

it was my first shoot since the first of may. i'm really happy with the outcome of the pictures i've seen so far (which isn't many).
anyway, i'm too pissed at my effing cat to be able to concentrate on any other interesting things in my life lately. i'll write latahhh.

xoxo.

life

sometimes my life is great, and sometimes it's really confusing. right now it's really confusing. a lot of things are happening all at once, and i'm not really sure what to do about any of them.
i'm trying to live my life how i usually do, but it's hard sometimes. i guess once i figure things out i'll write about them, but for now, they're going to remain private.
anyway, i guess i just need to decompress somehow. you know when you get anxious or you know that something is bad is going to happen you get major butterflies? that's how i feel all the time now. i could use a little relaxation. i'm stressed.
anyway, last saturday i was in the avalon school of cosmetology's hair show! i was in the 'lord of the rings' group, and i was dressed up as the tower. (i've never seen lotr, so i'm not sure if 'the tower' is its official name or not. sorryyy!)

my best friend sierra (a student at the school) was the ring. hooray for us!
uhhm, i really don't have much else to say today.
besides the fact that my big cat has been sick for the past week and it's making me really sad because he's so depressed. :( but i can't afford to take him to the vet! ohh dear. :(

things you should know about me.

in no particular order.

i love lists.
i'm very creatively minded and can be scatterbrained.
a lot of the time i stretch myself very thin.
i don't see the point in going to college if you don't know if that's what you want to do - hence, why i'm not going.
i am obsessed with smartfood brand white cheddar popcorn.
my little sister is my pride and joy, and the only person in the world who i would kill for, no questions asked.
i've never had braces.
i hate my nose.
i'm one of the most loyal people you'll ever meet.
i doubt myself a lot, but never show it on the outside.
i have a group of close friends that i've hung out with jr high/high school, but other than that, i don't hang out with too many people.
my best, best, best friend has been around since kindergarten.
i can function better in pointe shoes than i can in heels.
try as i might, i'm definitely not a very good housewife. i hate to clean, unless we have company coming over.
my laundry never gets folded and/or put away.
i have lots of things i want to accomplish, and the majority of them would be deemed as 'unrealistic' by the general population.
i'm smarter than i look.
i should have been born in the south.
i expect a man to be the breadwinner.
my husband totally dances like a white kid, and it makes me laugh so hard.
i've been called vanilla bean, regarding my attitude/mannerisms - i'm white, but i've got a little bit of black in me. ;)
i've been through more than you could possibly imagine by just looking at me.
i have a tattoo, and i don't regret it at all.
'sweet home alabama' is one of my favorite movies, right alongside 'she's the man' and 'two weeks notice'.
hugh grant, shia lebouf, and channing tatum are my favorite actors.
however, the only actor i'm allowed to have a crush on is hugh jackman, because le husband has a man crush on him, too.

i could make this go on for forever, but i won't.
:)

if you want me, i don't come cheap.

this title has absolutely nothing to do with the post. i'm listening to 'i do not hook up' by kelly clarkson. i do enjoy this song.
okay, on another random note: if you're ever in kaysville, go to david's pizza on 200 north. BEST. PIZZA. EVER. i seriously can't go back. i promise you won't, either. i keep those guys in business.
anyway. so i had a really great shoot on sunday! (my dark bride shoot) my hair was crazy! in the shower, i had to put at least triple the amount of conditioner that i usually do on my hair, and it still took half an hour of me combing out my hair to get it back to normal. HOLY EFF. here's a couple pictures.

what say ye?
also, look at these thousand dollar shoes. HOLY YES. if only i were rich.
so, did i talk about how le husband is joining the national guard? well, he is. he's going to try to take the first test for it next week. i'm not really sure how i feel about it - i'm kind of apathetic about the whole thing, honestly. i'm trusting his judgement. if it's what he wants to do, i'll support him.
i'm thinking that i may go back to school to be a speech therapist. i went to my sister's speech therapy today and really liked it, but i guess we'll see!
christmas songs just popped up in my itunes shuffle. TOO SOON, ITUNES. WAIT UNTIL AT LEAST OCTOBER. the sun just barely came out!! i need to enjoy my few, few months of the utah summer.
anyway, i don't think i have much left to say right now.

xoxo.

oh, my universe.

okay, update.
last week was hellish.
the man got fired, as i said before. ugh. he had a really good job. but he hated it, so oh well. he found a job a couple days later, but it's not full time and he's not even sure how many hours he'll be working a week. call me old fashioned, but i think the man is supposed to be the breadwinner in a family. so we'll be working on that.
also, he's decided for sure to join the national guard. i'm not too thrilled about the idea, but if he genuinely wants to do it, then he should. he needs to do something that will bring his self esteem up, because i can't live forever having to reassure him about who he is.
so last week was way stressful for me, and i did really well. while i was screaming on the inside, i just stood, smiled, and said, "okay, honey," like a good little housewife. but i couldn't handle it anymore. today i lost it. over absolutely nothing, too. that's always how it goes. anyway, i do feel a little better now that i was a monster for half an hour or so. that's a plus.

[this was me. also, look at this adorable picture i found.]

[uhhm, what?! this is the most adorable laptop sleeve known to man!! i need it.]

so with all of that going on last week, i had no time to be a model. i'm jumping back into it this week. i have a high fashion shoot at some point this week, and on sunday i have a bridal type shoot. at first i thought it was a regular bridal shoot, but i found out there's two models - a regular bride and a 'dark' bride. and guess which one i get to be?! yes. the dark version. i am SO EXCITED. i love styled shoots because they're total fantasy. i can transform myself into some weird, creepy creature and i don't have to worry about how my face looks or are my arms correct. (although i do need to work on that more.)
once i have pictures back, i'll post them.
i seriously am so excited for my bridal shoot.
okay, i've got nothing more to say.
adieu.

life happens.

remember how i said i was going to collaborate with that guy that does fantasy photos?
well, he cancelled. :( he said he was taking a different direction with his work. sad. he didn't give me any other explanation. i don't know if he moved or what. i would have liked to to work with him. :(
in other news, my man lost his job two days ago. :( he has an interview for a freight position at Michael's tomorrow, though, so hopefully that will go well. i think his manager had it out for him. brat.
(this is turning out to be a really depressing blog post, isn't it?)
anyway, so le man has that interview tomorrow, and he's also been thinking about going into the national guard. i don't have any real objections to it at this point, it's just a really big decision. so i'm sure he's been mulling it around in that big head of his for the past few days. my cousin (who's more like a big brother) is in the national guard, and i'm so proud of him. i'm just always afraid that he'll be called to go to war and something will happen to him. i couldn't bear to lose him. he's literally the only person in the world that understands me perfectly.
anyway, enough of the depressing-ness. let's see if i can find a picture to lift your spirits. :]

tada! perfection.
xoxo.