oh, my universe.

okay, update.
last week was hellish.
the man got fired, as i said before. ugh. he had a really good job. but he hated it, so oh well. he found a job a couple days later, but it's not full time and he's not even sure how many hours he'll be working a week. call me old fashioned, but i think the man is supposed to be the breadwinner in a family. so we'll be working on that.
also, he's decided for sure to join the national guard. i'm not too thrilled about the idea, but if he genuinely wants to do it, then he should. he needs to do something that will bring his self esteem up, because i can't live forever having to reassure him about who he is.
so last week was way stressful for me, and i did really well. while i was screaming on the inside, i just stood, smiled, and said, "okay, honey," like a good little housewife. but i couldn't handle it anymore. today i lost it. over absolutely nothing, too. that's always how it goes. anyway, i do feel a little better now that i was a monster for half an hour or so. that's a plus.

[this was me. also, look at this adorable picture i found.]

[uhhm, what?! this is the most adorable laptop sleeve known to man!! i need it.]

so with all of that going on last week, i had no time to be a model. i'm jumping back into it this week. i have a high fashion shoot at some point this week, and on sunday i have a bridal type shoot. at first i thought it was a regular bridal shoot, but i found out there's two models - a regular bride and a 'dark' bride. and guess which one i get to be?! yes. the dark version. i am SO EXCITED. i love styled shoots because they're total fantasy. i can transform myself into some weird, creepy creature and i don't have to worry about how my face looks or are my arms correct. (although i do need to work on that more.)
once i have pictures back, i'll post them.
i seriously am so excited for my bridal shoot.
okay, i've got nothing more to say.
adieu.

life happens.

remember how i said i was going to collaborate with that guy that does fantasy photos?
well, he cancelled. :( he said he was taking a different direction with his work. sad. he didn't give me any other explanation. i don't know if he moved or what. i would have liked to to work with him. :(
in other news, my man lost his job two days ago. :( he has an interview for a freight position at Michael's tomorrow, though, so hopefully that will go well. i think his manager had it out for him. brat.
(this is turning out to be a really depressing blog post, isn't it?)
anyway, so le man has that interview tomorrow, and he's also been thinking about going into the national guard. i don't have any real objections to it at this point, it's just a really big decision. so i'm sure he's been mulling it around in that big head of his for the past few days. my cousin (who's more like a big brother) is in the national guard, and i'm so proud of him. i'm just always afraid that he'll be called to go to war and something will happen to him. i couldn't bear to lose him. he's literally the only person in the world that understands me perfectly.
anyway, enough of the depressing-ness. let's see if i can find a picture to lift your spirits. :]

tada! perfection.
xoxo.

updatee.

hello all! (or nobody, actually.)

i forget where i left off. i think i had just had the shoot with the photographer that got me down. well, i had two better shoots this weekend, so i'm back on track. :]
the first shoot was so much fun! i was in a pretty white dress and we got some fantastic outdoor shots. the photographer was excellent and very professional. i only have one picture as a 'preview' to what is to come, so i'll show you that.

love it! it's very different than what i usually shoot, so i really enjoyed it. i'll post more pictures when i get them. this was probably one of my favorite shoots to date. we went into this awesome little orchard type thing and were getting some great shots, but then a grouchy old lady yelled at us and told us we had to leave. :( it was sad.
my second shot of the weekend went pretty well. not as well as the first one, but well nonetheless. the pictures turned out really well, it just felt like the photographer was even more nervous than i was. she kept asking her boyfriend for advice and if she was doing okay, so since she was out of her zone, it kind of brought me out of (the start of) mine.
[i wouldn't say i have a 'zone' yet, i'm not really good enough for that. i need to work on posing and such, but i do get pretty concentrated, and she was breaking that concentration. i guess that's the point i'm trying to make.]
anyway, here are some pictures.

that's really all i have to post for today. hopefully i can get some posing done in my spare time this week so i can get some really great shoots!
wish me luck - i'll need all i can get.
xoxo.

feelin good.

my outdoor shoot went well! i got some lovely shoots out of it, and modeled for the first time by a lake. it was really fun! i loved the photographer i worked with - he was very helpful and was way fun to work with.

a couple days after that shoot, i had a studio shoot in salt lake. i went in nervous but excited, and came out discouraged. the photographer didn't have great communication skills, so i was never quite sure what he wanted. he kept making noises like he didn't like what he saw, so that didn't help. plus, i had brought my husband as an escort and that was really distracting. not distracting as in i kept looking at him and giggling like a little girl, distracting as in he stared relentlessly and it made me really self conscious. i can model around my friends and (of course) the photographer, but there's something about that man that throws me for a loop. so i won't be taking him to another shoot. i just work better without him there. (not that i don't love him - i do!!)
today i had a really great shoot outside. we got some field/mountain shots and some shots in an old orchard, until some grouchy old lady yelled at us to get out. the photographer was fantastic. he definitely had the communication skills to get things done. (which i now appreciate a lot.) i have a shoot tomorrow in ogden that's going to be a glamour shoot, if i remember correctly.
then next week, i have a shoot with a photographer who does fantasy scenes!! i was so excited that he wanted to do a TF shoot with me, because he normally charges. he's going to make me into a fairy or mermaid! ooh laa laa :]
well, i need to continue cleaning my house before the brother-in-law and all his friends come over. i'll try to update soon. :]

ello again.

it's been a while.
i apologize for the absence. i could make excuses, but essentially all excuses are just excusing one thing - life. it's like zooey dechanel's line in 500 days of summer. her costar says, "well, what happened?" and she says, "the same thing that always happens. life."
anyway. life is..interesting. i've been working a lot more, which is good. i have my second photo shoot tomorrow. should be interesting. i bought some cute new clothes for it. :] we're going to a pond so that's cool. i've never done an on location shoot - just in the parking lot area outside of a studio.
in other news, we got a second kitty! :] his name is boss, and he's two or three months old. we got him from a druggie house (fyi, i didn't know it was a druggie house before i got there) and it was scary as hell. the druggie lady told me that they had 10 cats in the house, and i don't think that they'd been feeding any of them. when we got boss, we could feel every single one of his bones. he had no fat on him and he couldn't keep himself warm. he would never play with us, he would just sit by the heater all day long. so we took him to the vet, who gave us some super high calorie food - unfortunately, he also diagnosed our poor kitty with panleukapenia. it's like the cat form of parvo, except it's not as deadly as it is for dogs. anyway, so we were out $300 for the bare essentials to get this cat better; the vet originally wanted to keep boss there on an i.v. for two days. i was all for it, until i found out that it it would be $1200. UHHM, NO.
but boss is doing so much better now. he is so playful, and is super cuddly. we got lucky by getting such a good kitty. our other cat, tigger, is even starting to play with him. :] before, he hated boss. we couldn't even have them in the same room. but now there's nothing to worry about. :]
well, i ought to get to bed and at least get some sleep.
adieu!

ello again.

it's been a while.
i apologize for the absence. i could make excuses, but essentially all excuses are just excusing one thing - life. it's like zooey dechanel's line in 500 days of summer. her costar says, "well, what happened?" and she says, "the same thing that always happens. life."
anyway. life is..interesting. i've been working a lot more, which is good. i have my second photo shoot tomorrow. should be interesting. i bought some cute new clothes for it. :] we're going to a pond so that's cool. i've never done an on location shoot - just in the parking lot area outside of a studio.
in other news, we got a second kitty! :] his name is boss, and he's two or three months old. we got him from a druggie house (fyi, i didn't know it was a druggie house before i got there) and it was <b><i>scary as hell.</b></i> the druggie lady told me that they had 10 cats in the house, and i don't think that they'd been feeding any of them. when we got boss, we could feel <b>every single one</b> of his bones. he had no fat on him and he couldn't keep himself warm. he would never play with us, he would just sit by the heater all day long. so we took him to the vet, who gave us some super high calorie food - unfortunately, he also diagnosed our poor kitty with panleukapenia. it's like the cat form of parvo, except it's not as deadly as it is for dogs. anyway, so we were out $300 for the bare essentials to get this cat better; the vet originally wanted to keep boss there on an i.v. for two days. i was all for it, until i found out that it it would be $1200. UHHM, NO.
but boss is doing <i>so</i> much better now. he is so playful, and is super cuddly. we got lucky by getting such a good kitty. our other cat, tigger, is even starting to play with him. :] before, he hated boss. we couldn't even have them in the same room. but now there's nothing to worry about. :]
well, i ought to get to bed and at least get some sleep.
adieu!