opening up.

well, obviously i'm not doing the 30 days of whatever-ness.

but today i'm going to open up a little bit.
even though i asked for my divorce, it's still hard. people don't realize how hard it truly is. of course, every situation is different, but the pain is always the same. no matter who initiates it.
people think that because i asked for my divorce, that i don't have the right to be sad. that i should just automatically be happy, because i got what i wanted. and they're right. i got what i wanted. but sometimes, the things you want, the things you need, are not the easiest things to get.
through all of this, through all of the conflicts, arguments, and frustration, i have been happy. i have been happy for myself and for others. but in the back of my mind, there is a constant sadness. a part of me is still mourning for my loss. i'm still sad about the situation. i'm upset. i'm angry. sometimes i just want to run until i physically can't move anymore.
but no one can know.
because i'm supposed to be happy.

right?